I just want to set the record straight here, and say this isn’t a ‘poor pitiful me’ post. I’m happier than I’ve ever been. Oh, and while we are setting the record straight… This isn’t a slam at married people – you guys know how to throw one heck of a party, am I right? Marriage is rad. If you can find somebody who literally wants to spend money to legally have the right to spend the rest of their life with you, you’re winning. I’m just not quite on your level yet.
I’m Not Ready To Be a Married Lady
Okay, so for the record, I’m not perpetually single and thinking “nobody will ever want to marry me”. I’m in a long-term relationship, and thinking “nobody will ever want to marry me”. Just kidding. Kind of. In all seriousness though, have you seen me? I wear mix-matched socks, my nails are terrible (what’s a cuticle?), I don’t own any “real” earrings, and I drink 3 coffees a day. Also, on a side note… If you know anybody that actually says “real earrings”, I think that’s a fair sign that person isn’t ready to get married. Like, what are the other earrings? Figments of my imagination?
I’m only 22 years old, there’s a lot of things I want to do before I get married. And, that’s not to say that you can’t still do things after you get married, but I mean… I’d kind of like to have a real job before I have a piece of paper that says I’m legally bound to my dude. There I go again saying real job, like the job I have right now isn’t real or something. I do have a job – between the hours of 5 and 9. That should be your first clue that I’m not ready to get married – I don’t have a 9-5 job. I have a 5-9 job. Yah, that wasn’t a typo. I work 4 hours a shift, and that works wonders for me right now, but I’m sort of hoping that I’m working 8+ hours a day prior to a wedding, considering they cost a pretty penny.
I Want To Do Lots Of Things Before I’m a Wife
Even the mere thought of my being somebody’s wife someday makes me cringe. I sometimes forget that I am 22 years old, and a lot of people get married at my age, or even younger. To me, I’m literally a child. And you can’t just marry children, that’s just weird, guys?
I want to do a lot of things before I’m labelled “wife”:
- Graduate College
- Get a Full-time Job
- Have a hefty savings account
- Date for at least 5 years prior to an engagement
- MAKE SURE THAT I WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH THAT PERSON BECAUSE DIVORCE IS NOT AN OPTION
Okay, there I said it. It’s out in the open…
Divorce Is Not An Option
I mean, yes, legally it is very much an option. But I won’t allow that to happen. If I’m going to give myself to somebody in the most intense way I know, I’m going to make sure it’s going to last. I take marriage very seriously, and while I’m in love with my boyfriend, I don’t know what will happen in 5 years?
I’m always so happy for couples that get engaged (honestly, it’s the highlight of my life right now), but I can’t help but silently worry. For example, I’m still in college and my boyfriend will be returning to school for his teaching degree in September. We’re going to have to go through each other’s graduations, and watch each other get full-time jobs in our fields. That sounds super exciting and all, but that includes a lot of stresses and changes that we cannot even imagine until they occur. Now, imagine going through all of those things while also being married?
When we are young, we are going through so many things that are difficult in itself, and I don’t want to mix that with a marriage. That’s why I want to wait until I’m settled in my career. I want to iron out all the bugs in my life, before I legally add somebody else into it.
Did You Say ‘Merlot’?
For all of my friends that are recently engaged, I love you. Everybody around me is posting beautiful engagement photos and it always makes me so happy because I love marriage and love and everything in between. Invite me to your weddings and I’ll be there with a massive smile on my face and a drink in my hand, and I will help you celebrate your life with your partner. But understand that I’m not quite ready yet.
We all move at our pace, and while you may be able to balance school, your budding career, and a marriage – I know that I’m just not capable. We’re both doing our thing, and as long as we are all happy, that’s what matters.
So please keep getting married – and I’m going to support you, while getting drunk.