I Still Hate You.

i still hate you ex best friend

I was raised to believe that ‘hate‘ is a strong word. It carries such powerful and absolute intentions. That’s why I can say with confidence that I hate you. Time has passed, and we’ve both changed but I can’t forget about who you were two years ago when you made me feel worthless.

I might be acting a little dramatic, and perhaps quite childish, but that doesn’t change how you made me feel. Maybe I am acting this way because it is the only way I know how to deal with this. It’s like when you are 16 and drunk at a college party, and the only way to feel better is to puke. The only way I know how to feel better is to hate you, no matter how ridiculous and time-wasting that may prove to be.

 We Are Too Similar

You may have moved on and gotten over this, but I have a sneaky suspicion that you haven’t. Why? Because we were best friends for 15 years, and we are too similar; too similar to handle things differently. I’m sure you talk about me with your new friends – about all the terrible things that I did to you. I’m sure you scoff at my posts on social media and bring up things that you used to know about me, and things that you assume are still true. I’m sure you do these things because I know that I do these things. Remember, we are too similar to handle things differently.

You Were Mean

While part of me yearns for our friendship back, I quickly realize how preposterous that idea is because our friendship sucked. We had good moments, of course we did. And I think it is fair to say that I would love to have the good moments back, but our entire friendship? No. If I wanted to feel responsible for your poor choices, I would have a child. Please know, everything you ever did was your choice – not mine. All of the terrible and mean things that you said or did to people was your own doing. You thought about it, planned how you would do it, and then you implemented every single action you ever took. I need you to know that, so you can really start to see how mean you really were to people. Tweeting an inspirational quote doesn’t change that.

I know we aren’t 6 years old on the playground, so saying “you’re mean” may cause you to chuckle, but it shouldn’t, should it? Being mean still hurts people whether you are 6 or 26. It is 2017 and with all of the technological advancements and all of the things that we are able to become, why choose to be mean? Be anything else, please.

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