I think it is important to note that this article is being written while listening to Woman by Kesha. That detail is crucial, okay? “Don’t buy me a drink, I make my money” is my mantra as of late. So, here we are.
I like to think I have pretty traditional ideals when it comes to marriage. Actually, as I wrote that sentence, I struggled to come up with a follow-up statement, because I think
that might have been a line of crap. Now that I’m actually thinking about it, that’s not true at all. I always thought I wanted a white dress, but I just recently came across a black lace wedding dress, and I’m kind of hooked – I mean, look at that? Nothing screams elegance and grace like a black wedding dress – it also screams “Don’t fuck with me”, which I’m also sort of into, to be honest.
Kesha Round 2
We are now on Woman, round 2 – I’m not done with it quite yet.
Back to my non-traditional wedding ideals, that I just recently discovered… I may or may not walk down the aisle in a black wedding dress. Or maybe I won’t even have a wedding and I’ll just go to the courthouse and sign the papers. I could take it or leave it, honestly. I also always thought a Halloween wedding would be super rad. You know, we all wear Halloween costumes instead of fancy outfits, play bobbing for apples, carve pumpkins, and get drunk like college kids. Now that sounds like my type of party.
I’m A Strong, Independent Woman, Who Don’t Need No Man
Okay, yes. I don’t need no man, but I sure would like to have one. Let me rephrase that – I don’t just want any one, I want the one I currently have. My theory is if I’m not going to be happier with you than I would be single, then I’m not going to waste my time. I enjoy spending time with myself, in all honesty, so I’m not going to just throw that away for any man with the promise of a bottle of wine and a good movie. My dude is the epitome of my soul mate – he gets me, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted/needed. And on that note, he understands that I’m independent as shit, and doesn’t get offended when I say “Wanna go for dinner? I’ll pay”. I respect a guy that respects me. Thanks, man.
With that all being said, I want to be married one day. If you check out my previous blog post, I don’t want that day to be at any point in the near future – but one day. And with any good wedding, comes a marriage – preferable a solid ass, long-lasting marriage. And while I’m smashing the patriarchy, or whatever we’re calling it these days – I want my marriage to be non-traditional too.
I Want To Make More Money Than My Husband
There, I said it. I want to make more money than my husband because I’m an absolute asshole. I want to make more money than my husband to prove that I can. Countless studies have proven that women in Public Relations make less than men. In general, less women are placed in CEO positions, and therefore make less money than men – regardless of their profession. Maybe that is because less women push for it, I don’t know, I’m not Google. But I know that I’m not going to be another sad statistic.
Maybe I have this intense feminist view because I was raised by a single mom for a large portion of my life who also got her education and worked to bring in money, and still managed to spend time with us and make us feel loved. She was a freaking superhero, and I know everybody says that about their mom, but holy crap. She single handedly raised me to be the confident, determined asshole I am today. Oh, and she’d probably have a heart attack if she saw the amount of curse words in this article, but she’d also be like “necessary” and laugh, while drinking a beer and watching some TLC show.
I Want To Be Super Mom
Like I said earlier, my mom was a superhero. I want to do that too. I want to slay my career, then come home and slay my family life. I want to be that crazy hockey mom that people are like “Lady, stop yelling your kid isn’t even on the ice”. I don’t even like hockey. Never have. But I know I want to support the absolute crap out of my kids, so much so that I’m willing to bother the other parents around me.
Don’t Hand Me Money, I Will Work Hard For It
Yes, I want to make more money than my husband – but not because I am a woman. I just want to work so freaking hard that people will be unable to underpay me. Also, I’m not going to lie down and let people walk all over me. I’m going to work hard everyday, all day, so that my family can go on vacation together. I want to make enough money that I can pay bills easily, and not have to worry. I want to pay back my superhero of a mother for making me such a force to be reckoned with.
I want my husband to be successful too, because he’s a hard, dedicated worker. I want him to get the money that he deserves, and at the end of the day I want us to stand together and look down at the empire we created together. I’m not saying that I want my husband to be below me, because he will never be. I want to stand side-by-side, as equals, because to me – that’s a relationship.
I refuse to be a 1960’s house wife. I don’t want to be a stay-at-home mom that doesn’t work and waits for my husband to come home with a pay cheque. I want to earn my keep, and I want to be proud of what I have accomplished in my lifetime.