Can I just say this: I’m not an idiot. I know what I’m doing with my life. As much as I say that my life is a mess, and that I have no idea what I’m doing at all, trust me when I say: I really do know what I’m doing. I’m living, man. I’m surviving. I’m thriving. I’m getting by just fine.
Trust The Process
We all have our days where we just want to curl up in bed, and not leave (except for snacks, because duh). Some people are really great at pulling themselves out of their funk and getting on with their days. And some people really like to sit in self pity, and be sad. I am both of these people.
Sometimes I want to talk about what is bothering me – I want to talk until I’m blue in the face, or I fall asleep (which could realistically happen at any point). Sometimes I just want to have thoughtful conversations about life with people, and that is what makes me feel better. But sometimes I don’t.
Sometimes “I don’t know” is a perfectly reasonably response to “What’s wrong”. I am a perfectly flawed human being with issues, okay. We all have them, and I’m not going to pretend that I am exempt from that fact. Sometimes I get sad for no reason (see my article on this here) and I don’t want to talk about it to anybody. I think when somebody hears “I don’t know” as an answer, they feel the need to keep prying for a real answer because they think we must know what is wrong with us. But sometimes you just don’t. When those times come up, I just want to sit alone and cry. I know that sounds absolutely depressing and dark, but I know my body and I know what I need to feel better.
Going Through the Stages Makes Me Feel Better.
- Get overwhelmed
- Cry your face off
- Pull the blankets over your head
- Fall asleep
- Wake up and be rational
- Decide to make something great out of the remainder of your day
- Do something great
It’s a cycle that sounds ridiculous, I know – and we all have our own. This is just mine. When my answer to “What’s wrong?” is “I don’t know”, I need you to trust this process, because it is what works for me.
Nobody Knows Me Like I Know Me
I posted a tweet yesterday about buying myself Christmas gifts because nobody knows me like me, and I meant that. Not just in terms of Christmas gifts, but also in general. I know that if I don’t go to the gym in the morning, I am going to struggle going the rest of the day. I know that if I don’t do my schoolwork ahead of time, I will panic – I cannot do it the night before. I know that if I don’t go to class, I have a valid reason and will do my work from home.
The ones around me seem to worry if I don’t do things a certain way, but I know how I need things to be done. I am a master of myself and myself alone. I don’t know how to replace a tire on a car, or how to set up our new speaker system, but I do know how my brain works. I know what needs to be done, in order for me to be happy. I also know what needs to be done in order for me to be successful. My success in life is one of my top priorities.
I’m going to have successful career in marketing/communications and I’m going to have a house with lots of outdoor space, dogs, children, a husband and big dining room to host parties. That’s the dream, man. That’s my dream, anyways. And while I may do things a little different than others might expect, I’m doing the things I need to do in order to achieve the things I want in life.
Trust the process, because we all have our own.